Till Death Do Us Part
by the story of a girl
Summary: COMPLETED! JULY 1. Spoilers for Season 1 Finale! Bree's life after loss. How will she cope, who or what will she turn to?
1. Default Chapter

'**Till Death Do Us Part**

_"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." _

E.M. Forster

One could not have asked for a more beautiful day. The sky was clear, the air brisk, and the wind subtle. As she gazed out through her bedroom window, Bree Van De Kamp could see a group of young boys, no older than ten years of age, running through Wisteria Lane. They were enjoying the day; living only for the present. They need not worry about the future, nor dwell on the past. These children, just as many others, were carefree, restless, and full of life. Most importantly, however, they were genuinely happy. Their young souls filled with bliss…yet to be scorned by the hardships of life. Bree could not take her eyes off of this small group of children. As much as she tried to deny it, she felt an overwhelming sense of jealousy. These naïve young boys…what she wouldn't give to feel a sense of naivety again. Bree gently put her palm up to the windowsill, tracing a small circle around the glass. "Embrace the day, boys" she whispered.

Rex Van De Kamp had been gone for barely 24 hours, and Bree had already cleaned out each room of her already immaculate home. Every bed was remade, every utensil washed, every article of clothing refolded. A few drawers, however, remained untouched: those which contained Rex's belongings. Bree had _tried _to reorganize her husband's clothing…she wanted everything to be neat and perfect for him… just in case he were to come home. She would fantasize about Rex walking through the door at any moment. It was thoughts such as these which kept her Yet every time she went to refold one of her husband's sweaters, or iron a pair of khakis, she felt as if the article of clothing burned her hand. She couldn't even bear to touch.

Andrew and Danielle had remained in one another's rooms for most of the day. Neither would eat or drink; regardless of the various dishes their mother prepared. Bree knew she needed to check on them every so often…but she couldn't bring herself to see their faces. They blamed her for the death of their father…she could see it in their eyes. Without words, her children made her believe that if she weren't such a burden, their father would still be alive.

Bree felt tears welling up once again her eyes. She needed a distraction, but everywhere she turned, she saw him. Rex lived in every room, not only in photographs, but in memories. Bree figured that if she sat in the same place for long enough, and focused on the outdoors, she wouldn't see him, nor would she feel so empty. This system worked for a short time, but didn't last. The redhead slowly reached a standing position, but immediately grabbed on to the nightstand, in order to ground herself. As soon as she looked down she saw Rex's watch laying right next to her fingertips. She gasped as her hand jumped back, as if she had just been shocked.

"Get a hold of yourself, Bree." she mumbled, approaching the bedroom mirror. Her eyes were tired, her face tear-stained. She appeared years older, though she had only been "aging" for one day. Using a damp cloth, Bree wiped her face, trying to clear-up her tearstained cheeks. It was then she made her way across the hallway, and came face to face with her son Andrew's closed door.

"Andrew, honey…" she was surprised at the sound of her voice. It was raspy and meek, nothing like her usual tone. She cleared her throat, waiting for a response. "Can I please come in? You haven't eaten all day and I think it would be wise to at least have a snack of some sort…" No response. "Andrew?" she took matters into her own hands, and slowly opened her son's door. She found both Andrew along with Danielle perched on his bed. Danielle's face was red and her tears were still falling. It appeared as if Andrew were attempting to comfort his sister.

"Oh sweetie-" Bree's motherly instincts kicked in.

"Don't touch her." Andrew replied sternly.

"Andrew!"

"I said don't touch her! Just get out of here, okay?"

"I know…I know you're upset right now but don't shut me out. Please. Not now." this was more of a plea than a request. "Please…"

"You know I'm upset right now? Try devastated. No…try completely destroyed." Bree heard her son mutter the same few words she had told Rex just a few nights before.

At this point she could only stare back at her son. The overwhelming sense of guilt which had already taken its toll on her was unmanageable.

"Dad was sitting on the stairs, right down there…" Danielle cut in, her voice timid. "He was practically dying, mom. You know he could have died right there and you wouldn't have even cared." emotion was becoming apparent in her voice. "And why?…" she looked up at Bree with glassy eyes. "…because you had to make your bed. **YOUR BED**, MOM. You could care less about dad. You wanted this to happen. LOOK AT YOU, you're not even crying!" Danielle had now reached the point where she was screaming in between sobs.

"Danielle. No. I would never _ever_…I-"

"Look what you're doing to her, mom. Just get out. Please. Just go."

Bree felt helpless. She reluctantly obeyed her son, closing the door behind her…losing all that was left of her crumbling family.


	2. Chapter 2

thank you so much for all the reviews! I really appreciate it :)..anyway here's chapter 2 of who knows how many chapters. Enjoy.

Bree headed downstairs and decided it would be best to try and get some rest; even if for just an hour or two. She hadn't slept at all the previous night, and although she was unable to physically feel exhaustion, her body was beginning to show the signs. Bree grabbed a pillow and laid down, holding it close to her chest. She stared blankly at the space in front of her until her vision blurred, and her eyelids became heavy. As soon as her tired eyes finally closed, Rex appeared. He wasn't saying anything, or even moving. He was just staring straight back at her, occasionally flashing a smile. Bree sat up and massaged her temples, hoping to somehow soothe her pain. Once she felt somewhat relaxed, she mustered up the courage to close her eyes once again.

_"and just for the record, you are going to come through this operation just fine." _Bree heard her own voice playing back in her mind.

"_how do you know?"_,Rex replied, his tone both insecure and weak.

_"because I told you, the **best **is yet to come."_

"Damnit!" the redhead shot up, tossing her pillow aside. She buried her face in her hands, and began to slowly rock back and forth. "You've left me with nothing, Rex." she paused, lifting her head. "Not even a moment of serenity." And with that, Bree headed for the front door; reaching the realization that the best had already came and went and that there was nothing she could do about it.

Bree carefully crossed the street, her arms folded tightly across her deep blue cardigan. She was well aware that she looked far from presentable, but couldn't scrounge up enough energy to be concerned. The time was just past 5 o'clock, and Bree assumed that her friend Lynette would be home. Although Lynette had already come to check up on her twice, Bree could not help but desire even more attention. She was never one to long for sympathy from others, but she needed _something _to temporarily fill the empty pit in her stomach.

As she approached the door, Bree decided she would help her friend prepare a meal for her family of four. Even if Lynette didn't have the proper ingredients, Bree would create perfection. The Scavo house appeared to be relatively calm for a change. As Bree peered through the glass panes in the doorway, she could make out two familiar faces: Tom and Lynette. They were just talking to one another, nothing out of the ordinary. Bree could not hear what the couple was saying. For all she knew, they could have been discussing babysitting arrangements for Saturday night. Yet for some reason Bree could not bring herself to interrupt. It was almost as if these two needed to spend and cherish every moment together, and that she could not interfere. Bree noticed Lynette flash a smile, and felt a pang of anger. 'How can she be so happy, while I'm so miserable?', she thought.

With an ever-quickening pace, Bree backed away from Lynette's home. She was frustrated with herself for experiencing thoughts of pure jealousy. Bree, of course, was not accustomed to envy. After all, she was always the 'perfect one'. Her grass was the greenest, her flowers the brightest, her hair the most radiant. Minor flaws such as a self-destructive son and a marriage crisis were usually concealed by her smile: the most beautiful smile on Wisteria Lane.

Bree could not go back into her home. Her children wanted nothing to do with her, and her husband's absence made it far too painful to even sit down and read a book. Although she had nowhere to go, Bree hopped into her car and just drove. She played the radio incredibly loud, trying to drone out her dark thoughts. However, as one who would constantly scorn her children for "abusing their eardrums", Bree could not get used to such loud music. And so, not wanting to be a hypocrite, she lowered the volume and simply drove off with no destination, no purpose, and for the first time in her life, **no set path**.


	3. Chapter 3

The women of Wisteria Lane found themselves constantly worrying about their good friend and neighbor. They had each gone to visit her at least twice during the day. Whether they came bearing food, drinks, or just a shoulder for Bree to possibly cry on, the three women felt as if they simply could not do enough for her. This of course, was partly because along with grief, each woman also suffered from a personal battle with guilt. After all, each had assured Bree of her husband's speedy recovery.

Susan Mayer, specifically, could not seem to get the word "widow" out of her mind. Sure, she and Carl were divorced- but when it came down to it he was still there for her. As much as she disliked her ex-husband, she still couldn't imagine life without him.

"Mom…" Julie Mayer interrupted her mother's delicate thought process. "You're zoning out again." The time was now about 7 o'clock, and Susan and her daughter were just finishing dinner.

"Do you think I should go check on Bree again?" As usual, Susan relied on Julie's response.

"Well, how was she the last time you were over there?" Julie asked.

"How do you think…"

"I mean, was she talking to you at all?" she responded.

"Hardly. But I mean, Bree's always pretty quiet." Susan retorted.

"Go over there. The reason she's not talking is probably because she assumes she'll break down. Even if you just sit there silently with her… she needs you."

"How do youknow all of this?" Susan was both impressed and intimidated.

"I've learned it from living with you, mom" she flashed an innocent smile.

Susan smirked, though she saw the truth in her daughter's words. "Yeah well…I'll be back later." clearly, not the best of comebacks.

Susan walked down the street, casually approaching Bree's door- which was immediately answered by Danielle Van De Kamp. "You can't just leave like that, you know-" she began, immediately cutting herself short once she saw who was actually in the doorway. "Mrs. Mayer! I'm really sorry." she seemed surprised. "I um, I thought you were my mom"

"Your mom? You mean she isn't home?" Susan found herself in a state of confusion. She was surprised Bree would even leave the house right now, let alone walk out with no a warning.

"Not exactly…" Danielle motioned for Susan to come inside. "She…well, she tried to talk to me and my brother…and we both said some stuff and-"

"What kind of 'stuff'?" Susan lowered herself down onto her friend's couch.

Danielle shook her head. "Nothing. And I'm not sorry for it either. Well- I mean- I am but not really."

"Nevermind. Sweetie, you don't have to explain anything to me. How long has she been gone for?"

"A few hours maybe." Susan could hear the concern in Danielle's young voice.

"Okay. Well listen to me. I'm sure it's nothing. She's probably just trying to clear her head."

Danielle nodded.

"Where's your brother?" the brunette looked up.

"Upstairs."

"Why don't you go get him. You two can stay at my place until your mom comes home."

"Mrs. Mayer, that's really nice of you to offer, but we're okay." Danielle began, attempting to refuse an offer which she obviously couldn't resist.

"I've even got some leftovers if you're hungry. Nothing I made, so it should be edible." she smiled, completely ignoring the girl's remark.

"Okay." Danielle didn't even smirk at Susan's desperate attempt at humor. "I'll go get Andrew."

Once Danielle was out of view, Susan leaned back against the couch and sighed. To her right she noticed an overturned picture frame. She lifted it to see a photo of Bree and Rex. It must have been at least ten years old. The color a bit faded, the clothing outdated. Susan couldn't help but smile, for she had never seen Bree look so happy. In fact, she couldn't even remember the last time she had seen a genuine smile on her friend's face. Susan gently ran her fingers over the photo; feeling tears beginning to well up in her eyes. "Oh Rex…" she heard herself whisper. Though she and Rex had never been close, she felt as if she had a lost a member of her family.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Danielle attempted to reason with her brother. "Come on Andrew, she's just being nice."

"I don't need a babysitter, okay?" he was clearly disturbed by Susan's gesture.

"Fine. You stay, but I'm leaving. I can't stand being in this house anymore. I mean, all the silence… I don't know why you would even _want _to be here."

"I don't want to be anywhere." Andrew replied. His voice still.

"Whatever." She simply brushed off her brother's pain. "I'll see you later."

Danielle raced down the stairs, eager to get out of her home.

"Ready?" Susan asked, plastering on a smile.

"Andrew's not coming." Danielle replied, walking out the door in front of Susan.

"Oh…okay? Will he be alright by himself?" she quickened her pace to keep up with Danielle.

"He's fine."

As soon as he heard the door close, Andrew laid back against his bed and gazed up at the ceiling. Of course he would much rather be in the company of Susan and Julie. He wasn't very close with his neighbors, but they were decent people. Andrew wanted nothing more than to escape the confines of his bedroom…but he couldn't go to the Mayer House. Of all places, he just couldn't go there. Susan knew his secret. She saw him that night in the pool with Justin, and he couldn't even bear to look her in the eye, let alone stay in her house. Andrew sighed, closing his eyes. Though he knew he would be haunted by nightmares, he knew he needed to try and get some rest.

As Andrew attempted to escape the harsh reality of life, his neighbor, Lynette Scavo continued to follow her daily routine. She was in the middle of bathing her youngest son when her husband Tom entered the bathroom.

"Phone." he stated.

Lynette just looked at him with a face of disgust. "Sort of in the middle of something here."

"It's Susan- she says its important."

Lynette immediately dried her hands, grabbing the phone from her husband.

"Hello?" Lynette put the phone up to her ear. "What's going on, what's wrong?" She had trained herself to expect the worst.

"Bree's gone."

"Excuse me?" Lynette answered in disbelief.

"I went to check up on her, and Danielle said she had left. I tried her cell, and it's not on. I don't know where she is, Lynette. You have to go look for her."

"Don't you think you're overreacting just a little bit."

"Maybe. But what if I'm not…what if-" Susan's voice sounded somewhat frantic.

"Okay, well can you at least come with me?" Lynette interrupted.

"Lynette, her kids are here…" Susan commented, neglecting to mention that Andrew was actually still home. "I can't leave Julie with that kind of responsibility. I'd say you could go with Gabby, but I don't think this kind of stress would be good for her. I mean with the baby and all…"

"Of course not. I understand…thanks Susan." Lynette hung up the phone, and headed back upstairs to the bathroom. "I've got to um…I've got to… go." she explained, visibly shaken up.

"Where?" replied her husband, confused.

Lynette shrugged. "To wherever Bree is."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks so much for all of the reviews! I really appreciate it. :)**

It had never been Bree's intention to drive very far from home. All she wanted was to get away from her small town where everyone knew her business. She drove out to a slightly larger town nearby, and found pleasure in the simplest things. For instance, she could walk into a store without worrying about someone apologizing for her loss. Though she knew that running was not the proper way to handle her situation, she could not help herself. After all, she had nothing left to clean.

Daylight slowly faded into darkness, and Bree knew she couldn't handle a repeat of the previous night. It had been one of absolute worst experiences of her entire life, and she refused to relive it. Bree became agitated as she approached familiar territory. She began to nervously tap her steering wheel, occasionally glancing out the window- trying to find _something_ to distract her. Nothing seemed to catch her eye except for one local site that she usually wouldn't give a second glance. "I couldn't…" she told herself, all the while turning into the parking lot…

Lynette had been searching for her friend for about two hours. She wasn't exactly frantic, but was becoming troubled as the time passed. She called Susan about 15 times, but she never had any updates on Bree. The blonde had checked everywhere she assumed her friend would be, and then some. She was beginning to convince herself that Bree didn't _want _to be found. Maybe she just needed some alone time, and Lynette would be intruding. As tempted as she was to turn back, she could not help but carry on. The 'what-ifs' just kept running through her mind. By 10:00 pm, Lynette began to grow very tired. Looking after four children was not the easiest of jobs, and she was not accustomed to the idea of a separate night-shift.

Bree found herself situated in a local bar. She vouched never to enter such a cruddy place. Clearly, she was "above" the people who surrounded her. The bar was not overwhelmingly crowded, due to the fact that it was a Wednesday night, but there was a decent amount of people. Bree did not plan to linger in this place for very long, she just wanted a shot or two to satisfy her craving. She refused to allow herself to get too tipsy to drive home. However, she didn't necessarily realize that a grieving widow's perception of alcohol may be a little off.

She downed her first shot. "Bleh…" she scowled, curling up her nose in disgust. She had never been a fan of straight-up alcohol. Yet, for some reason the sensation caused by the shot was too good to pass up. She felt somewhat relieved as the beverage trickled down her throat. "Bree, get out of here." she told herself. Obeying her own orders, the redhead stood up, grabbed her purse, and walked out. She reached her car and put it in gear…but she couldn't drive away. She wanted more. She hated herself for it, but she felt unsatisfied.

Bree re-entered the bar and took her same seat. She ordered a few more shots, and within minutes, a man about her age had taken the seat next to hers.

"Hey there, pretty lady." he began.

Bree did not smile, nor frown. She just stared back at this man. His eyes were blue, his skin light. He didn't look much like Rex, besides the obvious features, yet she saw his face. She looked at him deeply, and soon, she could see no one other than her husband.

"Rex?" she asked, her voice tear felt.

The man looked behind him. "Are you talking to me?"

The man's voice registered in Bree's mind. This was not her husband. She shook her head slightly, and saw the actual man sitting next to her. "I…I'm sorry. I thought you were my husband."

"Oh…" he backed off. "You're married."

Bree could only nod, for her in her mind, she was still married to Rex.

"Lucky guy…"

Bree felt tears beginning to form. She stared down at her hands until the man walked away. She would not allow herself to cry in a public place. To compensate for her pain, she continued to drink…and drink…in fact, Bree drank until her vision was blurred and nothing was as it seemed. It was at this moment that she finally felt at peace.

"Bree, Bree, Bree…" Lynette said to herself. "Why must you torture me so." she, of course was being sarcastic, but was becoming slightly irritated. In fact, she was just about ready to give up. Tom had called four or five times, and he wanted her to come home; she needed her rest. She was about to finally give in to her own needs, when something caught her eye. She was stopped at a red-light, and noticed a car which looked almost identical to Bree's in the lot of a local bar. "Nah…" Lynette told herself. Bree would never…not without a ride home at least." However, as she looked closer, she could almost make out the bumper sticker located on the bottom right of the vehicle. _"My Child is an Honors Student at_…" she read, her eyes widening. At this point, the light was green, and a small lineup of cars had formed behind her- all blasting their horns. Lynette, who had just snapped back into reality, rolled down her window, stuck her head out and flashed a quick finger at the aggravated drivers behind her.

Lynette walked into the local bar, commonly known as 'Smokey's Tavern'. It definitely lived up to its name, as Lynette could hardly breathe because of all the cigarette smoke. She made her way through the establishment, noticing a redhead in the corner. Her head was down, and her back turned. Lynette gently approached Bree, not wanting to startle her. As she got closer, she was shocked to see how many empty shot-glasses were in front of her. She knew that Bree would occasionally have a glass of wine, but nothing more.

"Bree…" she spoke, her voice almost inaudible. No response. "…Bree." she repeated herself, this time louder. She gently placed a hand on her friends shoulder, causing the redhead to jolt up.

"Huh- what-…" she cut herself off- immediately burying her head in her hands. It was clear she couldn't see straight.

"Do you know who I am?" Lynette asked seriously.

Bree stared back at her with glassy eyes. "Of course I do!" she smacked her hands down on the table. "You...you are…Lynnnette." she dragged out the 'N' in her friends name.

Lynette was relieved. Bree was pretty far 'out there', but at least she could still recognize faces. Lynette didn't even speak for a moment, she just looked down at her friend: an image of perfection absolutely destroyed. As heart-wrenching as the scene was, Lynette couldn't help but feel a bit of anger toward Bree. She understood that she was grieving, of course…but to leave her kids with no fair warning and go out to a bar…?  
"Come on, honey. I'm going to take you home." her voice was soft, but stern.

"Home? Nuh…I don't want-"

"You know, I don't really care what you want." Lynette could not help but release a bit of her anger. She was even considering lecturing her about how long she had been out searching, but decided it wasn't the right time.

Bree just nodded her head. "Oh."

"How much did you drink?" Lynette asked.

"Three. No five. Eight?" Bree looked like a seven-year-old trying to solve her first division problem.

The blonde shook her head. "Nevermind. Come on." Lynette helped her friend reach a standing position. Bree immediately put her full weight on Lynette, as she could hardly walk on her own. Lynette wrapped her arm around Bree's waste for support. "Right foot, left foot…" she instructed as she would a toddler. "We're almost there." She could feel Bree's quickening breaths.


	5. Chapter 5

It had never been Bree's intention to drive very far from home. All she wanted was to get away from her small town where everyone knew her business. She drove out to a slightly larger town nearby, and found pleasure in the simplest things. For instance, she could walk into a store without worrying about someone apologizing for her loss. Though she knew that running was not the proper way to handle her situation, she could not help herself. After all, she had nothing left to clean.

Daylight slowly faded into darkness, and Bree knew she couldn't handle a repeat of the previous night. It had been one of absolute worst experiences of her entire life, and she refused to relive it. Bree became agitated as she approached familiar territory. She began to nervously tap her steering wheel, occasionally glancing out the window- trying to find _something_ to distract her. Nothing seemed to catch her eye except for one local site that she usually wouldn't give a second glance. "I couldn't…" she told herself, all the while turning into the parking lot…

Lynette had been searching for her friend for about two hours. She wasn't exactly frantic, but was becoming troubled as the time passed. She called Susan about 15 times, but she never had any updates on Bree. The blonde had checked everywhere she assumed her friend would be, and then some. She was beginning to convince herself that Bree didn't _want _to be found. Maybe she just needed some alone time, and Lynette would be intruding. As tempted as she was to turn back, she could not help but carry on. The 'what-ifs' just kept running through her mind. By 10:00 pm, Lynette began to grow very tired. Looking after four children was not the easiest of jobs, and she was not accustomed to the idea of a separate night-shift.

Bree found herself situated in a local bar. She vouched never to enter such a cruddy place. Clearly, she was "above" the people who surrounded her. The bar was not overwhelmingly crowded, due to the fact that it was a Wednesday night, but there was a decent amount of people. Bree did not plan to linger in this place for very long, she just wanted a shot or two to satisfy her craving. She refused to allow herself to get too tipsy to drive home. However, she didn't necessarily realize that a grieving widow's perception of alcohol may be a little off.

She downed her first shot. "Bleh…" she scowled, curling up her nose in disgust. She had never been a fan of straight-up alcohol. Yet, for some reason the sensation caused by the shot was too good to pass up. She felt somewhat relieved as the beverage trickled down her throat. "Bree, get out of here." she told herself. Obeying her own orders, the redhead stood up, grabbed her purse, and walked out. She reached her car and put it in gear…but she couldn't drive away. She wanted more. She hated herself for it, but she felt unsatisfied.

Bree re-entered the bar and took her same seat. She ordered a few more shots, and within minutes, a man about her age had taken the seat next to hers.

"Hey there, pretty lady." he began.

Bree did not smile, nor frown. She just stared back at this man. His eyes were blue, his skin light. He didn't look much like Rex, besides the obvious features, yet she saw his face. She looked at him deeply, and soon, she could see no one other than her husband.

"Rex?" she asked, her voice tear felt.

The man looked behind him. "Are you talking to me?"

The man's voice registered in Bree's mind. This was not her husband. She shook her head slightly, and saw the actual man sitting next to her. "I…I'm sorry. I thought you were my husband."

"Oh…" he backed off. "You're married."

Bree could only nod, for her in her mind, she was still married to Rex.

"Lucky guy…"

Bree felt tears beginning to form. She stared down at her hands until the man walked away. She would not allow herself to cry in a public place. To compensate for her pain, she continued to drink…and drink…in fact, Bree drank until her vision was blurred and nothing was as it seemed. It was at this moment that she finally felt at peace.

"Bree, Bree, Bree…" Lynette said to herself. "Why must you torture me so." she, of course was being sarcastic, but was becoming slightly irritated. In fact, she was just about ready to give up. Tom had called four or five times, and he wanted her to come home; she needed her rest. She was about to finally give in to her own needs, when something caught her eye. She was stopped at a red-light, and noticed a car which looked almost identical to Bree's in the lot of a local bar. "Nah…" Lynette told herself. Bree would never…not without a ride home at least." However, as she looked closer, she could almost make out the bumper sticker located on the bottom right of the vehicle. _"My Child is an Honors Student at_…" she read, her eyes widening. At this point, the light was green, and a small lineup of cars had formed behind her- all blasting their horns. Lynette, who had just snapped back into reality, rolled down her window, stuck her head out and flashed a quick finger at the aggravated drivers behind her.

Lynette walked into the local bar, commonly known as 'Smokey's Tavern'. It definitely lived up to its name, as Lynette could hardly breathe because of all the cigarette smoke. She made her way through the establishment, noticing a redhead in the corner. Her head was down, and her back turned. Lynette gently approached Bree, not wanting to startle her. As she got closer, she was shocked to see how many empty shot-glasses were in front of her. She knew that Bree would occasionally have a glass of wine, but nothing more.

"Bree…" she spoke, her voice almost inaudible. No response. "…Bree." she repeated herself, this time louder. She gently placed a hand on her friends shoulder, causing the redhead to jolt up.

"Huh- what-…" she cut herself off- immediately burying her head in her hands. It was clear she couldn't see straight.

"Do you know who I am?" Lynette asked seriously.

Bree stared back at her with glassy eyes. "Of course I do!" she smacked her hands down on the table. "You...you are…Lynnnette." she dragged out the 'N' in her friends name.

Lynette was relieved. Bree was pretty far 'out there', but at least she could still recognize faces. Lynette didn't even speak for a moment, she just looked down at her friend: an image of perfection absolutely destroyed. As heart-wrenching as the scene was, Lynette couldn't help but feel a bit of anger toward Bree. She understood that she was grieving, of course…but to leave her kids with no fair warning and go out to a bar…?  
"Come on, honey. I'm going to take you home." her voice was soft, but stern.

"Home? Nuh…I don't want-"

"You know, I don't really care what you want." Lynette could not help but release a bit of her anger. She was even considering lecturing her about how long she had been out searching, but decided it wasn't the right time.

Bree just nodded her head. "Oh."

"How much did you drink?" Lynette asked.

"Three. No five. Eight?" Bree looked like a seven-year-old trying to solve her first division problem.

The blonde shook her head. "Nevermind. Come on." Lynette helped her friend reach a standing position. Bree immediately put her full weight on Lynette, as she could hardly walk on her own. Lynette wrapped her arm around Bree's waste for support. "Right foot, left foot…" she instructed as she would a toddler. "We're almost there." She could feel Bree's quickening breaths.


	6. Chapter 6

**thanks so much for all the feedback! i really appreciate it. :) **

"No, Lynette please. My kids- I can't." Bree resisted, trying to avoid going back inside her house. The ride home was a quick ten minutes…far too short in Bree's mind.

"Susan's got them" Lynette replied.

"Susan?" Bree squinted.

"Mhm…" Lynette replied, while fumbling with the keys to Bree's home.

"She is _such _a good friend. So are you." Bree did in fact mean what she said, though she sounded far from sincere.

The two stumbled through Bree's doorway. Lynette turned on the lights, causing Bree to cover her eyes. She sat down and put her head in her hands once again. Both women sat in silence for a few moments, until Bree's breathing started to quicken, and she began mumbling something, though Lynette was not quite sure what.

"Are you okay? What is it?" Lynette kneeled in-front of her neighbor.

"I feel-" she was sweating slightly.

And soon, though Bree could not speak, Lynette's college days flashed before her eyes. She helped her friend up, leading her to the closest bathroom. She tried to force herself in, but Bree held onto the frame of the doorway.

"Don't- please…" She didn't want her coming inside.

Lynette tried to insist, just in case Bree were to pass out…but when she looked deeply into the redhead's eyes, she saw the desperation lurking within. She needed to cling to her last bit of dignity. Lynette nodded, closing the door behind her. As worried as she was at this point, she was pretty sure Bree would be alright once she was rid of the alcohol in her system. She sat down on her couch and just stared at the ceiling. She didn't know what time it was, but didn't really care.

After about ten minutes Lynette began to grow concerned. Every time she got up to check on Bree, however, she remembered the destroyed look in her eyes. "Give her another five minutes" she told herself.

Thankfully, within about 30 seconds, Bree hobbled out of the bathroom. Her hair was a mess, her face pale, and her body visibly trembling. Lynette gently led her back to the couch. She grabbed a blanket, wrapping it around her close friend. Bree was still gasping slightly, and Lynette could see a the remains of a stray tear which had fallen down Bree's cheek.

"It's okay. It's over." She gently rubbed Bree's back. She reached into her bag, pulling out a half-full water bottle. "Try to take a sip of this, okay?" Bree's trembling hands could note even support the weight of the bottle, and Lynette had to essentially feed it to her. This was definitely a situation she never would have imagined being a part of. The redhead could not speak very well, her breaths still rapid and sharp. Lynette continued to comfort her friend as best as she could, but she never said a word. The two sat in silence in this fashion for quite some time…

Eventually Bree's trembling had subsided, and her breathing seemed to be regular once again. She was still tipsy, but was already beginning to feel the aches and pains of what is casually defined as a hangover.

"You need to get some sleep, Bree." Lynette spoke to Bree as she did to her children.

The redhead just shook her head. "I can't sleep."

Lynette nodded. "Okay."

"My head…I swear it's 100 pounds." she grimaced.

"That's what happens when you binge drink." Lynette had actually intended to lighten the mood, not to offend Bree.

"Lynette, don't give me this. Please."

"I'm just saying-"

"Well, don't. Okay?"

"Excuse me?" A voice inside of Lynette was crying for her to stop speaking- she didn't want to get angry with Bree. She had no right.

"I don't need to take crap from you right now." Bree was bitter.

Lynette was shocked, never having heard any word worse than 'darn' come escape from Bree's lips.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear that- but you're going to take crap from me." Lynette felt her anger rising. She knew she was now embarking on a downhill spiral. She knew she wouldn't be able to control her words. Once Lynette got started, there was no stopping her. Lucky for Bree, she didn't know this side of Lynette very well until tonight. "Do you know why?" She continued. "Because I was out there looking for you for over two hours Bree. Two hours! And while I was doing that, Susan was taking care of your kids who _just lost their father_ in case you forgot!…and what do I find you doing? DRINKING. Alone. God damnit Bree! How were you planning on getting home? Were you going to drive and kill yourself so your kids could be left with no one? What would you have done if I didn't show up. I've just got to know…**_what were you thinking!_**" She sounded incredibly harsh and irrational, but all of her anger came from deep rooted concern. After all, she viewed Bree as her best friend.

Bree stared back at Lynette for a moment. She was considering staying silent and possibly apologizing for what she had done. She knew it was wrong…she didn't intend for it to go so far. Unfortunately, at this point, pure rage was her strongest emotion. Bree took a deep, long breath. "What was I thinking?…_How dare you ask me that_." Her voice was soft, but her tone vicious. "You really want to know what I was thinking when I walked into that bar, Lynette?" She rose from the couch, though her vision was still cloudy, she could see well enough for the time being. "I was thinking about how I lost my husband of 18 years yesterday. I was thinking about how my kids would preferred it if were dead. I was thinking, _how the HELL am I going to live like this._ I WAS THINKING…." her words were turning into screams of rage…as painful as it was for her to scream, she continued. "…about how the **best part of my life** is OVER!"

"Bree-" Lynette tried to cut in. She didn't mean to cause such an outburst.

"No, Lynette. No. _You listen to me._"

The blonde could only nod. She was under Bree's control.

"When I walked into that bar tonight…the main thought in my mind was, 'what am I living for anymore?' and I have yet to answer that question."

"Come on, don't say that."

"Oh, and you want to know what else? I was **thinking **of how everywhere I go I see Rex's face. In this house, on the street, in a grocery store, in a _GOD DAMN BAR, LYNETTE_!"

Lynette was completely and utterly shocked. Bree was a very religious woman, and to even say the Lord's name in vain was a stretch- let alone yell it out in rage.

_"I CAN'T GET HIS FACE OUT OF MY MIND AND I HAVE TO. BECAUSE HE'S GONE. HE'S **DEAD**. AND I- HE- HE'S ALL I SEE- AND I HATE HIM FOR IT! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM!" _her screams quickly turned into sobs, she tried to keep screaming out her hatred for Rex, but instead, collapsed into a sobbing heap in the middle of her family room.

Never had Lynette Scavo seen anyone break down so severely. She wiped a tear from her own cheek, and approached her broken friend, attempting to somehow invite her into an embrace. Bree's body was wracked with sobs, but as soon as she felt Lynette's touch she started resisting; trying to force herself away.

"Please, just go, I hate you too. **I HATE YOU. **I hate everyone. Please, please, please" she begged.

"Shhh…" Lynette managed to get a hold on her convulsing friend. "It's okay. It's okay, sweetie. It's all going to be okay." It was apparent that she was in tears as well. Bree continued resisting, but eventually lost her strength and collapsed into Lynette's embrace.

Bree continued having random outbursts of pure hate…whether it be about Lynette, Tom, Rex, or even herself. Lynette noticed that the only two people Bree did not bash were her own children.

Lynette began to rock her dear friend gently back and forth, trying anything to calm her down. "Stop it. Just try and breathe."

Bree disobeyed. "Let go of me, I hate you, I hate you, please…"

"Well, I love you, okay? I love you so much. I'm so sorry. I love you."

"I hate-" Bree began

"I love you…I love you.." Lynette repeated over and over again… eventually causing Bree to stop shouting her words of hatred and just cry.


	7. Chapter 7

**thanks again for the reviews!**

**and to kiraturner (i forget your name on here..ahh im sorry) yup- same one! haha cross-posting is fun;)**

Bree's cries subsided eventually, with only a few stray tears lingering on her flushed cheeks. She had completely exhausted herself both physically and emotionally. Her body ached from the utter abuse it had just been exposed to. She felt herself shaking, and would occasionally tense her muscles, only making matters worse. Bree was concentrating so heavily on regaining control over her body, that she barely even noticed when Lynette gently moved her back onto the couch. She felt herself sink into the cushions, which were much more comfortable than the hard floor. As she looked up, she saw Lynette cover her with a blanket. Although Bree didn't actually want to sleep, her body's needs took control over her mentality.

"You need your strength back." Lynette gently stated, brushing a few stray hairs out of the redhead's face. "Please get some rest."

Bree brought her hand up to Lynette's; squeezing it lightly. "Lynette." she spoke, her voice weak and hoarse. "I don't…I don't hate you.", and with that, she felt her eyes beginning to close- allowing her to finally fall into a deep sleep.

"I know." Lynette replied, forcing a small but appreciative smile.

Andrew Van De Kamp had positioned himself a few feet away from the top of the stairs when Bree's rant first began. Her voice had woken him up and he initially planned to go downstairs and start an argument with her, until he realized what was going on. Andrew forced himself to just sit back and listen to the entirety of his mother's breakdown. There were many times he was tempted to just get up and walk away- to go into his room, lock the door, and play his music as loud as possible- but he couldn't. Andrew had never heard anyone sob with such an extreme force, let alone his own mother. As much as it scared him, he was drawn to her cries; amazed to witness such powerful emotion. It actually relieved Andrew to hear his mother cry…to know that he wasn't the only one in such agony.

The relief he had felt, however, was soon overcome by guilt. He heard his mother scream how he and Danielle would have preferred her to die rather than their father. He tried to convince himself that this wasn't true…but unfortunately Bree was correct- he _would _have preferred it if she had died. Andrew loved his father. They were team. Together, Bree's wrath couldn't hurt either one of them. Now, however, he was left to fend for himself and he hated both his mother and father for that. Nonetheless, he had enough sense to remember one important message his father had taught him. "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer".

He glanced downstairs and saw his mother curled up on the couch. She was sleeping in the fetal position. Never in his life had Andrew actually watched his mother sleep, but he always assumed she slept perfectly still on her back, hands folded neatly across her chest. He was in fact partially correct. Bree typically fell asleep in such a position, but as soon as she was completely asleep, her body would naturally shift into a fetal position. She looked so helpless…so completely torn apart. He would watch her occasionally stir, but she never woke. It was at this moment that the inner demons within Andrew were fighting a fierce battle. Part of him hated his mother immensely. He wanted her to suffer. He wanted her to pay. Yet part of him felt sorry for her…part of him wanted to be the one telling her everything would work out…that it would all be okay somehow. Andrew sat at the top of the stairs for about an hour more- watching his mother sleep peacefully, while he fought the battle within.

As peaceful as she may have appeared, the matters going on inside of Bree's mind were overwhelmingly complex. She was beginning to dream- the stage of the night which she had always dreaded. Bree could not even remember the last time she had a pleasant dream. All of the aggression and pain she built up during the day would be released through her subconscious, causing many painful nights. Tonight, however, was somewhat different.

_"Bree." _she recognized the voice, instantly whirling around to see her husband.

_"Rex. You look-" _she could not even find the words. She had never seen her husband look better.

_"Heavenly?" _he joked. _"No pun intended."  
"Come home, baby" _she stated. Bree was not begging.

Rex simply shook his head. "_I can't do that."_

_"But I need you. Don't you know how much I need you." _If there were any tears left inside of Bree, they would have surfaced at this point.

_"You're stronger than you think you are."_

_"Strength and joy have nothing to do with each other…and…Rex, I don't think I can find happiness without you. I don't think I have it in me, I-" _

_"Happiness is just a state of mind, Bree."_

She could only nod solemnly. _"Why'd you have to leave so soon?" _she asked.

_"My time, I guess." He _slowly walked toward her, cupping her face. His hands felt cold, yet smooth.

_"I love you" _her voice sounded as if she were questioning herself.

_"I know…and I forgive you."_

_"For what?"_

_"Everything." _he smiled, turning away.

_"For what, Rex? What did I do?" _

_"Don't worry about it. It's over."_

_"Rex, please. Just stay with me a while longer." _her eyes burned with nonexistent tears.

But Rex couldn't stay. He didn't even answer Bree. He just disappeared…leaving her in a completely empty setting with no surroundings. Nothing to clean, nothing distract herself with. She was in a world of complete **emptiness**.


	8. Chapter 8

Bree awoke early the next morning from the bright sunlight which emanated through her window. She was not a particularly light sleeper, but this was an exception. The redhead slowly sat up and massaged her temples. She had an excruciating headache, and a few scattered stomach pains as well. She could have just lied out on the couch all morning, but did not want to start a habit. Although it took her a few minutes, Bree soon mustered up the strength to make her way into the kitchen.

"Well, you're a vision this morning." Lynette joked.

Bree just shook her head. "Don't even start." her voice, however, was not stern. She appreciated Lynette's humor. She approached the cupboard, assuming she would prepare breakfast for herself and Lynette.

"Already taken care of."

"Lynette, you didn't need to do that. I'm quite capable of making my own meals." Bree sounded irritated, though she did actually appreciate her friend's gesture.

The blonde ignored Bree, taking a seat next to her. "First we've got an appetizer." Lynette slid two painkillers in front of her friend, causing her to let out a soft but sincere chuckle. "These are the best. Trust me- I've got four kids." She then brought her a small plate of eggs which she managed to scrounge up.

Bree graciously accepted Lynette's concoction…and slowly, her stomach pains began to ease. She did not focus on the awkwardness she felt between herself and the woman next to her- she concentrated only on the plate of food in front of her.

"How are you doing." Lynette broke the silence.

"I'm fine."

Lynette nodded sadly. As much progress as the two had made the previous night, Bree still tried to convince herself that she was fine. Though she knew her image of perfection was shattered, she clung to it nonetheless.

"I dreamt about him last night, you know." Although Bree did not actually specify that 'he' was Rex, Lynette knew exactly who she was talking about. "He looked…perfect." she added solemnly, sliding her fork across the plate.

Lynette returned a sympathetic smile, placing her hand over Bree's- causing her to immediately pull her hand away from the table.

"Please don't comfort me anymore. I'm sorry, I just -"

Lynette backed off. "You don't have to explain."

"Thank you." Bree quietly responded, flashing a small but appreciative smile.

Meanwhile, at the Mayer house, Susan was preparing to walk Danielle back to her home. Although it was literally a 10 second walk, she didn't want the girl to be alone. Susan had gotten a call from Lynette earlier in the morning, and was relieved to hear that Bree made it home safely. Needless to say, Lynette left out the details of Bree's condition.

"Ready?" Susan asked.

"Yep, you really don't have to walk me home…" Danielle responded.

"Oh please, it's the least I can…." Susan stopped herself once she opened the door to see Andrew Van de Kamp camped out on her front steps.

"Um…hello, Andrew. Hi." Susan nudged the boy.

"Huh."

"You're um…well you're on my porch." Susan was clearly confused.

"Oh! Wow, hey Mrs. Mayer." Andrew realized where he was. He had snuck out before dawn to avoid seeing his mother.

"Were you here all night?" Danielle asked.

"No, just for a little while this morning. Um, listen. Just pretend I was here all night, okay?" Andrew explained.

"What did you do…because I can't be held responsible, you know." Susan assumed he must have done something wrong.

"I didn't do anything." Andrew appeared agitated. "Just say I was here." He saw a glint of curiosity lurking in his neighbor's eyes "…for my mom's sake, okay?"

"Fine." Susan agreed, all the while giving Andrew a very strange look. "No one ever tells me anything." she mumbled, walking ahead of both Andrew and Danielle.

"What's going on?" Danielle asked her brother.

"Mom had a breakdown last night, and I don't want her to know I was there for it. That's all." Andrew answered his sister's question honestly.

Danielle was taken aback. "What do you mean, breakdown."

"Break. Down." he annunciated. "Do you want me to spell it out for you? She was screaming, crying, you know…typical breakdown." Andrew continued, as if this were anything but an ordeal.

"Mom was? Is she okay? How could you just leave her!" Danielle became concerned.

"Relax! Lynette was there the whole night."

"Whatever, Andrew." Danielle quickened her pace to catch up with Susan.

The three approached the doorway and were immediately greeted by Bree. She had freshened up beautifully. Andrew and Danielle simply brushed past their mother, barely even saying hello. Both were still slightly annoyed that she even left them to begin with.

"Guys…" Susan began, trying to get Andrew and Danielle's attention.

"Don't worry about it." Bree responded, leading her friend inside.

Susan immediately pulled Bree into a tight embrace. "I was so worried about you!" she exclaimed. "Are you alright?"

Bree was sick and tired of hearing the same question. 'Are you alright, are you okay…' of course she wasn't okay. "I just had to clear my head. I'm so sorry for putting you through all of this. Thank you so much for taking care of Andrew and Danielle for me, Susan. I'm grateful, I really am."Her response sounded as if it had been rehearsed.

Susan shook her head. "Of course, Bree. Don't worry about it." As she made her way through the house she saw Lynette who approached her as well. She looked tired…more-so than usual. "Rough night?" she mouthed to her friend.

"You have no idea." Lynette mouthed back.

"Can I get you anything, Susan? Coffee, tea…" Bree was playing perfect homemaker once again. Yet Susan could tell that Bree wanted to be alone. She, of course, was too polite to ever actually ask someone to leave.

"No, thanks. I've actually got a few things to do. Call me or stop by if you need anything, okay?"

Bree nodded, leading Susan out of her home. Lynette followed, squeezing Bree's forearm. "I'm proud of you…and I love you." she quietly commented.

Bree smiled back at her friend. What else could she do? Somewhere inside of her, she wanted to cling to Lynette- she didn't want her to leave. Susan, she couldn't deal with right now, but Lynette seemed to be the only person able to provide her with a sense of comfort. Another part of Bree, however, was glad to see Lynette leave. Part of her wanted to push Lynette out of her life. Bree was embarrassed of how she collapsed in front of her…ashamed that she had allowed her emotions to be on public display.

The day slowly passed…hours seemed to stand still. Bree wondered how long it would be like this…how long she would face such agony. Although she felt better than she did the day before, Rex was still the sole focus of her mind. Nonetheless, she knew she needed to somehow manage to take care of the two members of her family who were still with her- for if she lost her children, she would have lost _everything_.

"Andrew…Danielle…" she began, approaching the couch which the two-of-them were sharing. "I'm so sorry I ran out yesterday. I don't know what I was thinking. Please understand that I didn't want to hurt you. I just needed to clear my head."

"It's fine, mom." There was actually a hint of sincerity in Danielle's voice. "I probably would have done the same thing." She nudged Andrew.

"Yeah. I definitely would have walked out on my kids the day after they lost their father." Andrew added. Internally, he hated himself, but yet he still derived pleasure from bringing about pain.

Bree simply nodded. "Well, I'm going to make you both something very special for lunch." she seemed relatively satisfied as she left the room.

"You're such a jerk." Danielle glared at her brother.

"Yeah, well…we can't all be perfect." he added.

Bree found herself reaching for a variety of different seasonings and spices. She didn't even know what exactly she was going to prepare for lunch, but she knew it had to be something exquisite. Andrew's harsh words kept running through her mind. She knew she was wrong to leave her family, but it wasn't like she completely abandoned them. Bree then started thinking about Lynette's rant the previous night…when she asked her how she would have gotten home. The truth was, Bree didn't know how the answer to that question. Maybe she would have decided to drive drunk. She hated herself for it. No, hate was an understatement. She despised herself. How could she have been such a horrible mother…and such a burden on her friends?

Bree reached for a few different bowls, trying to find the appropriate size. She grabbed one, but didn't have a strong enough grip. The bowl immediately shattered into pieces on the floor. "Damnit!" She yelled, much louder than she would have preferred. Danielle entered the kitchen within a few seconds, only to find her mother bent over picking up pieces of broken glass, all the while her hands were beginning to bleed.

"Mom, what are you doing!"

"I need to clean this-"

"No. Mom, you're bleeding." She gently approached her mother, helping her to stand up. "The bowl can wait. Sit down." she led her to the nearest chair, examining the two fresh bruises on her mother's right hand. "Doesn't look too bad. Hold on okay?" Danielle went upstairs to get a few band-aids, returning promptly. She started taking care of Bree, gently bandaging her wounds. She suddenly felt a drop of warmth on her palm- a fresh tear. "Does this really hurt?" she asked, even though she knew that wasn't the cause of her mother's tears.

"No, it isn't that."

There was an awkward moment of silence. "It's okay to be upset about Dad…" Danielle began.

"It isn't that either."

"Then what?" Danielle seemed perplexed.

"I'm just so glad that you don't…" Bree lowered her voice. "hate me. I'm relieved you don't hate me." she repeated herself.

Danielle looked down at the floor for a few moments, and then pulled a chair in front of her mother. "Of course I don't hate you. I never hated you. I was mad at you, and I had the right to be mad. But…that doesn't mean I don't love you."

Bree couldn't even respond. She just looked down and covered her face with one hand. She wasn't crying, just overcome with emotions. She didn't want her daughter to see her in such a fragile state.

"It's okay, Mom." Danielle moved closer. "It's okay."

Bree uncovered her face, slightly embarrassed. She reached out and embraced her daughter….And even for only a moment, Bree found happiness.


	9. Chapter 9

Two days had passed, but very little had changed on Wisteria Lane. Most were still recovering from the sudden death of Rex Van de Kamp, but very few actually approached Bree. Her only allies were Lynette, Susan, and Gabrielle. Everyone else who would casually say "hello", or be a part of her weekly book club meetings seemed to disappear during this time of anguish. Even Lynette, Gabrielle, and Susan had lessened their visits to the Van De Kamp residence. They had all run out of things to say, and had expressed more sympathy in just a few days than many do in a lifetime. They too, had become emotionally exhausted, and looked to one another for a sense of comfort and escape. The three women congregated in Gabrielle's home. Both Susan and Lynette felt a pang of guilt whenever they saw their friend. She looked tired and distraught. The young woman had so much on her mind, and could not even express it because of Bree's situation.

The three sat in silence at one of the round tables in Gabrielle's home- simply finding comfort in each other's company.

Gabrielle let out a deep sigh, looking down at the table. Lynette and Susan shot worried glances. "Gabby…"

"Can I just say something?" Gabrielle began.

"Of course..." Susan responded.

Gabrielle lifted her head, and began tracing designs on the table with her fingertip. "Okay, but honestly, I'm going to sound like an insensitive bitch."

"Nothing we haven't heard before." Lynette smirked.

Gabrielle felt herself smile from Lynette's remark. "Funny." she responded. "Anyway, I just need to know…when can we start moving on with our lives?" the brunette questioned.

Susan and Lynette didn't even reply, they just looked back at their friend, complete with perplexed expressions.

"I mean…I loved Rex. Well, I guess I did. I never got to know him that well. None of us did. Now I feel awful about Bree's loss- I really do. But at the same time, I've got so many of my own problems and I need to know when I can start dealing with them." she didn't mean to sound so self-absorbed, and regretted her words immediately after they escaped her lips.

"You know, you can start to get on with your life, Gabrielle. Everyone heals at different rates. I don't think I'm ready to get over Rex just yet." Lynette replied sadly. She had never shared the details of Bree's breakdown with the other two girls, but it definitely had an effect on her.

"I don't mean getting over as in forgetting him. I just mean…" Gabrielle shook her head. "I have no idea."

"Honey, you've got your own problems." Susan added.

"But Bree's one of my best friends. I feel like you and Lynette have been there for her so much more, and that I've just been sitting here waiting to somehow equal up. I always liked to think that maybe I wasn't as conceited as everyone makes me out to be…but obviously I am."

"Gabby, listen to me. You're life…to be completely honest…is a bit of a mess right now. How you've held up so well is beyond me. Bree understands why you haven't been at her house every five minutes to comfort her. In fact, I think she respects you for it."

Gabrielle was relieved to hear the words of her friend Susan. However, she also felt a bit of anger. Susan just blatantly exposed the fact that her life was in shambles, but didn't even think to ask how she was doing. The conversation would automatically jump back to Bree and how _she _felt. Of course Gabrielle was sorry about Rex, but in a sense, she lost her husband as well. Not only that, but she had a child on the way and didn't even know who the father was. Her life was spiraling out of control and she couldn't even lean on her friends, because they were too busy supporting Bree. Death, being the most permanent of traumas, has a way of getting a hold of people. It makes everyone re-examine their lives. As much as Gabrielle hated herself, she couldn't help but think 'Wow, Rex's death couldn't have come at a worse time for me'. She couldn't admit how she felt, but had a hard time keeping it inside as well.

Without knowing any other way to respond to her friends, Gabrielle simply flashed the encouraging smile that Bree had mastered. "I'm glad you understand me so well. Thank you." She then got up to get herself a drink of water.

Nothing much had changed down the block. Bree had yet to turn up her photographs of Rex. She still had not cleaned out his clothing, nor had she dealt with her son. She was grateful for Danielle's acceptance, but rarely showed it. She had reached the point where she would sleep as much as possible. Her children assumed she was escaping reality, when in fact, Bree slept to face it. Every time she fell asleep, she would see Rex in her dreams. He would talk to her, console her…but he never held her. She would sleep as much as possible with hopes that maybe this time she would feel his touch once more. She didn't care if it wasn't real, she just wanted to feel it. Bree had feared sleeping at first, because she didn't want to see her husband; she was afraid of how he would be. Now, however, he was all that she wanted to see. Essentially the _only _thing she wanted to see. Every night, and now, during the day as well, Bree would lay down and wonder **why** **it took _death _to allow her to finally understand _love_.**

Bree had started pushing her friends out of her life. If Lynette or Susan stopped by, she would talk to them for a few minutes, then explain how she was tired, and retreat to her bedroom. She knew that her friends were concerned, but she had already worn them out, and knew they probably didn't have the energy to question her. She was beginning to view herself as a waste of time and energy.

"I'm worried about Mom." Danielle walked into her brother's room. He usually provided little to no sense of comfort, yet she confided in him nonetheless.

"You're always worried about her." Andrew rolled his eyes. He was sick and tired of everyone worrying and feeling sorry for his mother. People lose loved ones everyday. Of course he missed his dad, but he at least he didn't expect a sympathy vote from everyone within a 2-mile radius.

"All she does is sleep, Andrew. I've tried talking to her, but she treats me like I'm five-years-old. She'll never tell me what's really going on."

"…and you honestly think it would be any different with me?" Andrew got up off of his bed, turning on the television.

"Maybe."

"Danielle, she thinks I hate her-"

"Well do you?" Danielle cut in.

Andrew didn't know how to respond. "I don't know anymore. I did, then I didn't. I do right now because of how she's acting."

"Then use your anger to get something out of her." Danielle stated, turning around and slowly walking out of the room. "For me."

."


	10. Chapter 10

Andrew Van de Kamp did not have a difficult time ignoring his mother over the past few days. She rarely bothered with him…and if she did, it was usually requesting that he eat and clean his room. Andrew knew that there were many unsettled feelings between the two of them, but opted not to deal with these issues at the present. He couldn't care less about his relationship with his mother, but his sister was a completely different story. She was essentially his only family, and she desperately needed his help. If he had asked Danielle about their mother a week earlier, she too would have rolled her eyes and walked away. Now, however, she seemed to be obsessing over Bree- longing for her to actually be a parental figure.After giving the situation a few minutes of thought, Andrew walked into Bree's bedroom with slight hesitation. He expected to find her passed out, but she was in fact awake- sitting on the corner of the bed simply staring into space.

"Mom." Andrew began. His tone was not full of concern, nor of hate. It was steady for the most part.

Bree looked surprised. "Andrew! I didn't see you come in." She appeared relatively perky.

Andrew slowly approached his mother, taking a seat next to her. He noticed that the bed was made perfectly- even though his mother would go back to sleep within a few hours. "I need to talk to you."

Bree simply nodded eagerly at her son. He supposed she was encouraging him to speak.

"You um…you have to stop doing this." He made reference to the bed.

"What do you mean by 'this'?" Bree was well aware what her son was talking about, but needed to delay her response time.

"You stay in bed almost all day…"

"That's completely untrue! I've prepared breakfast, lunch, and dinner for you and your sister everyday. Other than that, neither of you bother to speak to me, so how else am I supposed to pass the time?"

Andrew just stared back at his mother. "What are you talking about? I mean yeah, I don't talk to you. But at least I've got my reasons. Danielle's been trying so hard. Earlier this morning she came in with a few albums and I had to look through each one with her because you wouldn't. She _wants _to look at pictures of our family…and she _needs _to talk about dad. You're not even letting her do that!"

"She'll heal, Andrew. We all will." Bree smiled gently, taking her son's hand. Clearly, he was not getting through to her."I can't believe you! Why can't you just be here for us!…" he stopped himself mid-sentence. "I mean for her. Be here for her. She needs you. Don't you understand that? She needs a parent!"

"…and she has a parent! Just because I'm catching up on my rest certainly doesn't mean that I'm no longer her mother." Bree was beginning to grow angry. She didn't appreciate the accusation of being a terrible mother.

"I know you didn't have a mother for most of your life, but that doesn't give you the right to treat us this way." Andrew replied- monotone. He didn't know the details of his grandmother's death, only that she died when Bree was a young child.

Bree looked hurt, though she tried not to show it. Her voice shrunk to a deep whisper. "I have done everything in my power to raise you and your sister to be respectable human beings. I've given **everything** for you. Don't you _ever_ tell me I mistreat you. **_Ever_**."

Andrew had never heard his mother sound so hostile. "I really do hate you."

His words burned; each syllable cutting into her already broken heart. Hate was such a strong word. One of which she had heard her son use far too much. Sure, she was sorry she didn't raise him to be the perfect child, but she tried as hard as she could. Bree looked back at her son and realized that this wasn't the proper way to be treated. She no longer had a man to fend for her, and needed to start acting on her own. All of her anger had been building up and Andrew single-handedly blew her fuse. Without even thinking, Bree raised her arm to her son, and hit him- right across his already reddened face.

"Are you kidding me!" Andrew immediately rose from the bed, holding the side of his face.

Bree found herself gasping slightly. "Andrew, sweetie, I…I swear I didn't mean to. I would never hurt you. I don't know what happened! I wasn't thinking, I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry." Bree found herself babbling endlessly.

"Oh shut up, 'you're sorry!'. You could care less!" He had now entered into a complete state of rage.

"I didn't want to hurt you, I don't know what happened…" Bree continued.

Andrew just shook his head and stormed out of her room. "You know what," he began, standing in the doorway. "I am

_really sorry_ that you lost your husband. But I'm also sorry that I lost my dad. And you know what else? I'm sorry that you're

too wrapped up in yourself to realize that you just lost one of the only two people left in your life." and with that, he turned and

closed the door behind him.


	11. Chapter 11

**I just wanted to thank you all so much for your feedback! I appreciate it very much :) I'm glad you're enjoying my story so far- and i hope you like this next chapter. thanks again!**

Once Andrew had left her bedroom, Bree found herself in an indescribable state-of-mind. She stood in front of the mirror and just stared at her reflection. She didn't looked tired, not did she appear overwhelmingly pale. In truth, she looked pretty good for a grieving widow. There was an emptiness, however, which lurked within her glassy eyes. Bree could not even see their naturally green pigment; she could only find gray. She felt such futility throughout her entire body, but this was her first time actually seeing it.

Bree stepped away from the mirror and sat back against the windowsill. She would silently scold herself, hoping that it would somehow justify her actions. Though she knew she was wrong for raising her arm to her son, she wasn't entirely overcome with guilt. Of course she felt badly, but she also felt a sense of accomplishment. Andrew truly believed that he had every right to overpower her, and she had finally set him straight.

Although she thought it somewhat unnecessary, Bree planned to apologize to Andrew. She combed a few fingers through her hair, patted down her skirt, and headed for her son's room.

"Andrew, sweetie, please let me in." she lightly tapped the doorway.

"He's not in there." Danielle appeared at the end of the hallway.

"Oh. Well, would you happen to know where he is?"

"Not a clue. He said he'd be back though." Danielle shrugged.

"Danielle…where is he." Bree was beginning to sound more serious. She assumed her daughter knew of Andrew's location, and was choosing not to tell her.

"Mom, I told you I didn't know."

"No, I need to speak with your brother."

The young blonde began to back away. "He's probably just at his friend's house!"

Bree approached Danielle and saw a look of pure fear in her eyes. "Are you…are you afraid of me?"

"No. What are you talking about?" Danielle replied, brushing a few loose strands of blonde hair away from her face.

"Did Andrew mention anything to you about our little confrontation?"

"Yeah. So you hit him. I would have done it too. I'm not mad."

The fear was obvious. "But baby, you know I'd never hurt you, right? I never meant to harm Andrew either- something just came over me. He was so cruel and well, anger and grief certainly aren't a great mix…but I would never ever hurt you, Danielle. Please promise me you know that."

"I know." She quickly nodded her head.

"Danielle…" Bree put her hand on her daughter's shoulder, causing her to flinch slightly.

"I um…I've got a few things to do. If I find out where Andrew is I'll let you know, okay?" Danielle turned away from her mother.

Bree gently smiled, though her immeasurable pain was obvious. "Thank you."

The redhead slowly retreated back to her sanctuary (also known as her bedroom). She could hear the sound of her breath with each step she took. Bree had reached the point where she was feeling such a wide range of emotions, that her body had become numb for protective purposes. Bree felt nothing at all and it scared her. She may not have enjoyed her agony, but at least she knew she was still capable of feeling. Seeing no other options, Bree neatly unmade her bed. Although she didn't feel tired, she didn't see any point in staying awake. She believed that she actually got more accomplished while unconscious.

As Bree faded into a deep sleep, her neighbor, Gabrielle, sat home alone. She was sitting on the edge of her couch, nervously biting her nails. She _wanted _to deal with her many tribulations, but didn't know where to begin. Gabrielle felt herself getting a headache. She was well aware that stress was the last thing she needed, but couldn't do a thing to stop it. Her friends were too busy, her husband despised her, and her lover was most likely at a keg party. The lonely brunette finally decided to make herself useful and to visit her friend Bree. She had been feeling so incredibly selfish and maybe by brightening Bree's evening, it would provide her with a sense of comfort.

Danielle was sitting alone in her room flipping through outdated fashion magazines when she heard a knock at the door. She truly enjoyed getting visitors. It allowed her to have a form of human contact- even if for only a few moments.

"Hi Mrs. Solis." Danielle greeted, as she opened the door.

"Danielle, are you okay…" Gabrielle immediately noticed how awful the young girl appeared. Her mother had been too blind to see it, but the circles around Danielle's eyes were enough to catch her neighbor's attention.

"Yeah. I um, I mean my mom's upstairs if you want to see her."

"Is now a good time? Are you busy or anything..?" Once again Gabrielle found herself asking a rhetorical question. The truth of the matter was that she felt awkward and actually wished she hadn't gone to visit Bree at all.

Danielle didn't even respond. She just gave Gabrielle a strange look.

"Right. Well you know what? I'm not here to visit your mom." Gabrielle settled on a nearby couch.

"Oh. Well do you need to borrow something? We have like, every kitchen appliance ever created."

The brunette felt a pang of sadness as she realized that Danielle immediately assumed she was there to take something. "No. I'm here to visit you."

"Me…why?"

"Because I know what it's like to feel unnoticed. Everyone's so worried about your mom, but no one's taken the time to even think about you."

Danielle looked down and began playing with one of her bracelets. "It doesn't bother me really."

"Well, why don't you try talking to me for a bit."

The girl reluctantly took a seat next to her neighbor. They had never been remotely close, nor had Gabrielle ever taken the time to say more than a few words to her. They both sat in silence for a few moments. Danielle was uncomfortable with the situation, but also realized that this may be her only chance at an emotional release. "I tried to make peace with my mom. I mean, I was still mad at her…but…I felt really bad at the same time."

Gabrielle nodded. "Have you two been speaking at all?"

"For a night we were. But now, not really. She sleeps a lot."

Gabrielle gently smiled. "She's just not willing to face reality yet. Don't tell her this, but well…she's not as brave as you."

Danielle cracked a smile which quickly disappeared. "I really miss him. My dad I mean. Mom won't even mention his name. And all these pictures" She directed her neighbor's attention to the many overturned photographs which cluttered the living room. "She won't turn them back. I have a few times, but she always puts them back down."

Gabrielle just looked back at Danielle sadly. She saw a girl so desperate for a mother, but who essentially had no one. She even saw a bit of herself. The two stayed and talked for quite a while. Gabrielle allowed Danielle to open up to her, and truly listened. Danielle eventually fell asleep on the couch, and once she seemed relatively still, Gabrielle headed upstairs.

She looked in on her widowed friend. Throughout her conversation with Danielle, Gabrielle had begun to feel a bit of anger toward Bree, but it all seemed to disappear as she watched her sleep. She realized that Bree didn't ask for the attention she had been getting from Susan and Lynette, nor did she intend to steal it from Gabrielle. She didn't want to hurt her daughter; she just didn't know how to act.

Gabrielle gently nudged her sleeping friend. "Bree…" she whispered. She wouldn't have woken her, but Danielle explained how she had already been sleeping for hours. Besides, it was only about 9:00 pm at this point. "Bree." she repeated.

The redhead jolted up, causing Gabrielle to jump back.

"Whoa okay, didn't mean to scare you."

Bree looked disgusted. She didn't realize it, but she had grown incredibly bitter. "What are you doing here!" she sounded angry- her words sharp.

"I was coming to see you…"

"Why did you wake me, Gabrielle! He wanted to hold me…" Bree of course was referring to Rex. The fact of the matter was that he was never actually going to hold her, she just imagined he would. "…and you come and disturb me. Now it's over."

"I'm sorry?…but what are you even talking about?" Gabrielle was offended.

"Get out of here."

"Excuse me."

"I said get out."

"Bree!"

"GET OUT!" she screamed.

Gabrielle threw her hands back, and shook her head. There were many choice words she would have liked to use, but avoided. "You're not the only person in the world suffering right now, you know!"

Bree had turned her back toward Gabrielle. She wouldn't respond nor make eye contact. She forced her eyes shut, and tried to instantly jump back into her dream…


	12. Chapter 12

Gabrielle had entered into a complete state of rage as she left Bree's home. She simply would not accept being treated so rudely from anyone- let alone a friend. As she headed for the door she accidentally knocked a frame off of a nearby table. She looked at it laying broken on the floor for a moment and shrugged. 'Something to keep you busy with, Bree.' she said to herself, walking out the door.

The sound of breaking glass instantly caused Danielle to wake up. She rubbed her eyes, moving off of the couch and toward the front door. She gently turned over the broken frame, being careful not to cut herself. The young blonde felt a pang of sadness as she viewed the picture of her mother, Gabrielle, Susan, Lynette, and Mary Alice. The photo was taken only about a year ago, yet each woman looked different. Physically, they appeared very much the same, but each seemed so much more vibrant. She specifically took notice to her mother; desperately hoping to see such a blissful side of her again someday. Danielle pulled the photo out of the destroyed frame and set it back on the table. The photo no longer had a sturdy frame for support…but after a few tries, Danielle was able to get it to stand upright against the wall once again.

Gabrielle pounded on Susan Mayer's door. She continuously slammed her fist until a disgruntled Susan finally answered.

"Hi Susan, you busy?" Gabrielle pushed her way through the door, she was well aware of Mike's presence, but chose to ignore it.

"Actually-"

"Great! Because I have about this much patience left." Gabrielle used her thumb and index finger to indicate how little it would take to make her explode at the moment.

Susan flashed a desperate look over at Mike.

"Susan. Do you want me to simultaneously combust in your living room?"

"Wow, okay. I'm kinda tired anyway…" Mike forced a yawn. "Always a pleasure, Gabrielle…" he said sarcastically, walking past the two women.

The young brunette glared, taking a seat on the couch.

"Enlighten me. What's the problem? " Susan wasn't really in the mood to hear Gabrielle whine and complain, but didn't see many other options.

Gabrielle pulled a nail-file out of her purse, and began rapidly brushing it over her already shortened nails. "It's Bree."

"What about her?" Susan became somewhat interested. Over the past few days she had become obsessed with comforting Bree. She wasn't sure why, but assumed it had something to do with Mary Alice's death. Susan worried that if Bree became too depressed, she would chose an easier way to deal with her pain. Susan feared for Bree, but for herself as well. She couldn't bear to lose another friend.

"Well, two things. One- she hates me. Two- not gonna lie, I'm starting to hate her right back." Gabrielle was speaking purely out of anger. The truth was that she hated being bossed around and Bree had done just that.

"Gabby…"

"I'm serious! I went in there to talk to her a little, provide some comfort. You know, be a good friend. And what does she do?" She paused, encouraging Susan to take a guess.

"I really wouldn't know." Susan shook her head.

"She screams at me!" Gabrielle tosses the file back into her purse.

"What?" Susan was taken aback. She had never known Bree to raise her voice.

"Apparently I disturbed her from a dream…so she ordered me to get out of her house. Which of course I resisted until she literally screamed in my face."

Susan could see that Gabrielle was genuinely disturbed. Her face softened, "Gabby I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into her."

"I just wanted to try and help her out…"

Susan gently smiled, delicately placing a hand on her friend's shoulder. "I know."

"I talked to Danielle for a while. Speaking of which, have you seen her recently?" Gabrielle turned toward her neighbor.

"Yeah, but I mean, what do you expect? She just lost her father a few days ago."

Gabrielle shrugged. "Bree barely even talks to her."

"It's just part of the grieving process, you have to understand." Susan began speaking to Gabrielle as if she were a child.

"You know what, no. This is exactly what I'm so sick of." the brunette rose from her seat. "I know she's grieving. I do. But I just lost my husband too! Sure, he's alive, but he's locked up for the next year. And hey, if he weren't in jail he'd probably be out to kill me right now. Oh and then there's the fact that I'm pregnant with _someone's _child and I don't even know for sure who that someone is. And yes, Bree lost her husband, but I would really appreciate it if…." Gabrielle stopped herself.

Susan found herself annoyed once again. "Are you done yet?" she asked, looking down at her hands. She understood Gabrielle's anguish, but she also didn't think it was comparable to Bree's at the moment. "Gabby.." she looked up to find her neighbor holding onto the banister for support. She looked as if she were in pain. "Gabby?" she repeated worriedly- instantly at her side.

Gabrielle tried to speak, but ended up letting out a short gasp.

Susan set her down on the floor, kneeling in-front. "What is it, Gabrielle. What hurts?"

Gabrielle could barely speak, but somehow managed to make reference to her mid-section.

Susan's eyes widened as she immediately ran to the closest phone, dialing 911. Once the call was placed she found herself back at her friend's side. "Sweetie listen to me." She reached out and cupped Gabrielle's face, forcing her to make eye contact. "You're going to be fine, okay? I'm sure you have nothing to worry about…" Susan tried to sound as optimistic as possible, though she felt her heart-rate quickening with every passing moment. She thought back to the night in the emergency room after Rex had just had his heart attack, and she had repeated the exact same words to Bree.

_"I'm sure you have nothing to worry about…"_

Words can sound so genuine, but in the end…they truly are nothing more than mere sounds.


	13. Chapter 13

The time was approximately 1 a.m. Bree had been asleep for hours when she first heard her telephone ring. She groaned, rolling over to glance at the clock. She stared at the phone, allowing it to ring three or four times before actually mustering up the energy to answer.

"Hello." she cleared her throat.

"Bree? Hi, it's uh…It's Lynette." she sounded somewhat disoriented.

"I know who you are…"

"I didn't know whether or not to call, because I don't think you're up for this but…I'm at the hospital." she continued to hesitate with every word. Lynette initially hadn't planned on calling Bree at all. It was far too soon for her to be back in a hospital setting.

Bree sat up in bed- her heart rate beginning to quicken. "What happened, are you alright?" she questioned her friend.

"I'm fine. I'm here with Susan. It's Gabby…"

Bree could actually feel her heart sink. Her last words with Gabrielle were those of rage, and she wouldn't be able to live with herself if something truly terrible happened.

"Lynette, please stop stalling. What happened to her?"

"She miscarried."

"What?"

Lynette sighed. "Apparently she was under far too much stress, and she's been experiencing a few of the symptoms- but didn't even bother to tell anyone."

Bree brought her knees up to her chest. "So, it's completely gone?" she was referring to Gabrielle's baby. Of course she already the fate of a miscarriage, but just wanted to double check.

"Yeah." Lynette replied sadly.

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Are you sure about this?…Bree?" she realized her friend had already hung up the phone.

Bree rummaged through her drawers, finding the first suitable outfit. She didn't bother combing her hair or putting on makeup. She simply dressed and walked out, leaving her bed unmade. Of course she didn't actually want to leave. She desired nothing more than to be left alone in her bedroom. Yet she heard the concern in Lynette's voice, and knew she needed to be there for Gabrielle. Mourning the loss of her husband may be acceptable behavior, but she needed to somehow cling to those who were still active parts of her life. She would see Rex in her dreams, but she needed to face those who would be there in reality.

Before departing, however, Bree stopped into Danielle's room. Andrew, on the other hand, had yet to come home, but Bree didn't have the strength to worry about it. He had stayed out all night on many occasions in the past, and he would probably _want _her to worry…and well, she wouldn't do him the justice.

She gently woke her daughter, telling her that she would be back long before breakfast. Bree wasn't even sure if Danielle had reached a state of consciousness in which she actually understood her, but she didn't concern herself with that either.

Bree stepped into her car, which Lynette had picked up and returned just the day before. She hadn't been out of the house since her excursion to the bar. Bree felt herself beginning to feel sick as she drove along the route to the hospital. She didn't think it would be so hard when she agreed to visit Gabrielle. She felt her heart pounding through her chest as she saw road signs pointing to the emergency room. Bree looked over at the passenger seat where Rex had been just a few days earlier. She was beginning to feel sick to the point where she was considering turning around. Yet something inside of her prevented her from going back.

After a good ten minute drive, Bree arrived at the hospital. She slowly made her way inside the building. She had sworn to herself she would never come back to this hospital…yet here she was. She became dizzy as she entered the waiting room. It was all too soon, and far too much for someone as fragile as herself to handle. The room was spinning slightly, making it much more difficult for her to locate Susan and Lynette. However, after a few moments she took notice to a blonde and a brunette sitting over in a corner. She felt herself dragging as she approached her two friends. It was as if her body were instructing her to turn back, but her mind kept her moving forward.

"Bree…" Susan gently led her friend into a seat. "I don't know if this was such a good idea."

"Are you okay." Lynette added, exchanging a worried glance with Susan.

Bree ignored their concern. "How is she?" she asked, referring to Gabrielle.

"She's okay…pretty shaken up. I don't think reality has set in just yet." Susan began. "The fact that she didn't actually want the baby definitely helped…but well, you don't always realize how important something is until you've lost it."

Lynette actually grimaced at the last few words. "Well, thank you Susan."

"Oh God. I'm sorry, Bree, I didn't mean to-"

Bree rapidly shook her head. "It's fine." She was actually annoyed that her friends were so concerned about her. "Where is she?"

Lynette directed Bree toward the room. "Do you want me to come with you?" she asked, seriously.

"No. I'm okay." she saw the uncertainty lurking in the blonde's eyes. "Really Lynette, I need to do this on my own."

Bree then embarked on the short journey to Gabrielle's room. With each corridor, a different memory would surface. She felt her legs begin to shake, and held onto the wall for support. 'You can do this Bree.' she told herself. 'Try to be strong for once in your life…'

Bree finally reached Gabrielle's room. She gently opened the door, being careful not to disturb Gabrielle who was already asleep. As soon as she was inside of the room, she was instantly swarmed with memories. She forced her eyes shut, attempting to prevent them from coming to mind- but nothing helped. 'It's too soon', she tells herself, feeling tears beginning to well up. And though she tried to force them back, it is nearly impossible to prevent inevitable tears. She heard herself choking back a sob, and immediately covered her mouth- desperately trying to avoid waking Gabrielle.

Bree walked toward the window- resting her head against the wall as her body began to convulse. Though her cries were relatively intense, she managed to keep herself pretty quiet.

"Bree?"

The redhead heard a meek voice call for her from the bed. She cursed herself and wiped her eyes as best as she could before turning around. "I didn't mean to wake you, I just came to-" Bree had to stop herself. She was having a very difficult time speaking.

Gabrielle squinted her eyes, adjusting to the relative darkness of the room, and slowly sat up in bed. Though Bree tried to hide it, her tears were pretty obvious. "Come here…" she didn't ask, nor demand.

Bree pulled up a chair to her friend's bedside. "I'm so sorry this had to happen, Gabby. I don't even know what to say, I'm so sorry." Bree noticed that she had been constantly apologizing to her friends and family lately. Though she felt repetitive, she needed to continue. "…and look at me, I'm sitting here crying by your bedside when nothing even happ-." she spoke in between cries, wiping her eyes once again. "happened to me."

"Bree." Gabrielle interrupted, seeing how difficult this was becoming. She reached out to gently comb her fingers through Bree's hair. "It's okay. I can't even imagine how hard it is for you to be here right now. So I wouldn't care what you were doing. Laughing, crying, sleeping- makes no difference. All that matters is that you're here with me now."

Bree, who's elbows were now resting against Gabrielle's bed, could not even respond- she rested her head in her hands and continued to cry. She wished she could actually be a friend to Gabrielle…she wanted to hold her hand and tell her that everything was going to be okay. But maybe _saying _everything is 'okay', wouldn't actually help. After all, it's the farthest thing from the truth. Maybe allowing Gabrielle to feel actual reality would provide more relief than forcing her to accept a false sense of tranquility.


	14. Chapter 14

**reviews are greatly appreciated :)**

Although Gabrielle had fallen asleep within about twenty minutes, Bree remained awake- no longer resting her head on the bed, but reclining in her chair. She didn't know exactly what to do with herself, so she just watched her neighbor sleep…getting lost in the rhythmic pattern of her chest heaving up and down. Bree, who was now completely inside her own mind, hardly noticed when Lynette entered the room.

"Come on, let's get you home." she whispered, delicately placing a hand on the redhead's shoulder. She noticed it was slightly trembling.

Bree glanced down at her watch, and once she realized it was almost 3 a.m., agreed to depart. She slowly sat up, somewhat dizzy, and made her way out of the room. She noticed herself naturally leaning on Lynette for support. This was not something she would take pride in, but she didn't resist.

"Have you been crying?" Lynette asked delicately.

Bree nodded, glancing down at the tile floor. Though Lynette had witnessed more than a fair share of Bree's tears, the redhead was still ashamed to admit she felt so many emotions. "Yeah." She replied- so softly she was barely audible.

Lynette tightened her grip around Bree's hand, assuring her that she was not alone. "Do you need me to take you home? I came with Susan, so I don't have my car here anyway."

Once again, Bree could only nod. There were words, but she chose to remain silent.

The two eventually made it back to the waiting room after what seemed like an eternity for Bree. As much as she appreciated the comfort which Lynette provided her with, she was also beginning to resent being treated as if she were incapable of taking care of herself.

"Hey Bree…" Susan began. "Is everything okay between you and Gabby now?"

"How did you…um…" Bree rubbed her eyes, trying to gain composure. "Did she tell you something was going on?"

"Yeah, she did." Susan needed to be honest with her neighbor.

Bree once again felt a sense of shame. "Fine. Everything's fine." she then separated from Lynette, walking ahead toward the exit.

Lynette said goodbye to Susan, and then met up with Bree; who had already reached her car. The ride home was silent for the most part. Lynette would occasionally start-up a casual conversation, but Bree would usually only reply with one or two word responses. Though Lynette became quite worried about her good friend, she tried to pretend that she didn't notice her fragility. All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around Bree, and let her just cry…or even just talk. As painful as the other night was for both of them, Lynette wanted to relive it. She didn't want Bree to put up emotional barriers again.

"Do you want to talk about anything?" Lynette asked, pulling into Bree's driveway.

"No, thank you." Bree was being incredibly polite.

Lynette felt herself growing frustrated, but would not allow herself to show her anger toward Bree. "Are you sure?"

Bree sighed. "Lynette. You're such a good friend- really, you are. I am so grateful for everything you've done for me over these past few days. But…" she hesitated, "Let me come to you."

Lynette glanced down at the steering wheel. She didn't feel like looking Bree in the eye because she knew she had a point. Lynette had been pushing her to open up in the worst way, and now regretted her actions. "I'm sorry. I really am. I just…I wish I could make this easier for you. I come home and I have Tom, and I try to think about what I would do without him and I end up making myself sick. I just wish I could help because I don't know…" Lynette felt a few tears escape. She wasn't ashamed, just frustrated. "I don't know how you're doing this." At this point her tears had become obvious. "I'm sorry…" she began to apologize. The last thing that Bree needed was to listen to her complaints.

Bree was touched by Lynette's sincerity. Never had she been so deeply cared for. Seeing the few tears which lingered on her friends cheeks, Bree responded by instinct, and gently brushed them off. "Sweetie, it's okay. You can cry." she shifted in her seat, reaching the best position to talk to Lynette. "The truth is…I'm not 'doing' anything. I'm not dealing with Rex…I'm not even dealing with my kids." she paused, putting a few stray hairs behind her ear. "I've been doing everything in my power to escape reality, and it's ended up pulling me so far away from it, that I don't even know what I've become, Lynette. Just a few hours ago I was screaming at Gabby- forcing her out of my home. I heard myself yelling, and tried to stop…but I couldn't. I've become bitter and full of anger…I don't even know how to describe it." She heard Lynette choke back another soft cry, leading her to squeeze her hand gently. "But tonight I realized that you can't escape reality. You can put it off, but you can't escape it. And you shouldn't even try…because you don't know what you'll miss…or even worse, who or what you'll lose." Bree sat back, taking a deep breath. "So I'm ready to actually deal with Rex's death." she felt her stomach turn at the sound of the last two words. "I don't know how. But I'm ready."

Lynette, who had been too embarrassed to even look her neighbor in the eye for most of her conversation was now overcome with a sense of pride. She was proud of Bree…the woman who repressed her feelings to the point of no return now openly admitted that she was going to take on what may be the most difficult battle of her life: a battle with grief. Though fresh tears continued to fall down her cheeks, she reached out and held Bree in a tight embrace. She didn't even know why she was crying anymore- only that she couldn't stop. The two women clung to one another for what seemed like hours- each relying on the support of the other.

Eventually they separated, and Bree used a tissue to dab the last few tears from her friend's dampened cheeks. "Will you be okay?" She gently smiled. Though Lynette's anguish was nothing to smile over, she actually felt relieved from comforting someone other than herself.

Lynette nodded, assuring Bree that she was fine. She then got out of the car, fixing her hair and patting down her already wrinkled pajama pants. "Thank you." she looked over at Bree, genuinely grateful for her kindness and support.

"Of course." Bree replied, turning around and walking toward her front door. Though she knew times ahead would be progressively difficult, she felt as if she had just eased her pain- even if just a little bit.


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you all so much for the Reviews! I so appreciate it. :) Clearly, you all rock. So thank you.**

**Onward..**

Bree re-entered her home in a different state of mind than she had left it in. She felt as if she had just experienced some form of an epiphany, and couldn't get back to sleep. The redhead literally collapsed onto the couch and allowed her mind to wander. For once she didn't try to steer her thoughts in a certain direction, she just let her mind carry her. Almost instantly, memories of Rex appeared. However, now as she relived these precious moments within her mind, she realized that many of her most memorable experiences with Rex often included her friends and children as well. Events ranging from the birth of Andrew and Danielle to various dinner parties and celebrations included others beside her husband. For the first time, her mind was allowing her to see the people who took part on the sidelines of her most treasured memories. It was at this moment that Bree realized there is, and has always been, more to life than her husband. Of course it is appropriate for her to mourn, but she had spent the past few days convincing herself that Rex was her sole purpose for living- that he was the best part of her life.

Bree felt somewhat relieved as she sat up and began looking around the room. The first thing that caught her eye were all the overturned photographs. She made her way over to each photograph and frame and carefully turned each one back up. Some photos made her smile, while others brought her near tears once again. Turning up a photograph was like reliving each moment for Bree. She made her way through each room of the house, and then finally, went back downstairs to upturn her most treasured photo of all- she and Rex on their wedding day.

Bree gently ran her fingers over the glass, careful not to make fingerprints or smudge marks. She felt tears, but knew she would not cry. After spending a few moments with her most prized possession, she returned to the couch. She sat up, unable to force her eyes closed and simply allowed time to pass, treasuring every second. She was deep within thought when she heard her front door slowly being opened. She was not alarmed…but rather relieved. She knew it had to be Andrew returning home.

"You waited up for me?" he began, somewhat flustered.

"As a matter of fact, I just got home myself."

Andrew heard his mother's words, but found himself distracted. He noticed all of the pictures which included his father were turned upright. "Oh. Where were you?" He questioned.

Bree considered lying to her son- saying that she had just chosen to take a drive. But she realized that if she wanted to recreate a relationship, she needed it to be based on trust. "I was at the hospital". She instantly saw the concern on her son's face. Whether or not he had attempted to hide such emotion would remain a mystery.

"Why?"

"Something happened to Mrs. Solis." She didn't think that Gabrielle would have appreciated her going into details about the miscarriage with Andrew.

"Is she okay?"

"She will be, yes." she paused, "Not to change the subject…but where have _you _been all night?"

"What's it to you." Andrew rediscovered his anger.

"Andrew…we can't go on like this forever."

"Like what."

Bree sighed. "I know that things haven't been perfect between us for a while now. But well, we need to work on that. Too many times I had wanted to change certain parts of my relationship with your father, but I never told him…and now…well now it's too late."

"What, do you think I'm gonna drop dead or something?"

"Don't you ever say something like that. Life is far too fragile to be taken for granted." Bree's voice was stern.

Andrew rolled his eyes, plopping down onto an armchair nearby.

"I've been pretty awful to you these past few months. I'll admit it. But you haven't exactly been a saint either." This was one of the first times Bree actually confronted her son. She felt as if she were doing something wrong, but would not allow herself to stop speaking. "Our relationship worked, as dysfunctional as it may have been, because of your father. If you were angry, you would run to dad and he'd help you out. If I were upset, I would look to him for advice. Neither one of us can do that anymore, and we need to find a new outlet. We need to actually talk to each other."

"Are we seriously having this conversation right now…"

"Andrew. I've told you this before, and I'll tell you again. _I will always love you_. You're my son…my first baby. I need you. And well, believe it or not- you need me too." Emotion was clear in Bree's voice.

"Don't you think I want to start over? I would love to just wake up one morning and forget everything. But I can't do that. You've never accepted me, Mom. I've never been good enough. So nothing will ever be 'perfect' between us. I'm willing to be civil with you, but I'm **not **your baby anymore."

Bree looked back at her son, sadly. She could only wish that she had been a better mother. Sure, she always had a meal on the table…and of course she would reward him for high marks, but she never actually _listened _to him. Bree realized that she had always favored Danielle. She always had straight 'A's, decent friends, and was somewhat a reflection of Bree herself. Bree could never relate to her son, and she never developed the bond with him that Rex had. "I'm sorry, Andrew." Bree finally spoke. She truly was sorry for any pain she had caused….but she was also sorry for herself. Sorry that she had set herself up for betrayal.


	16. Chapter 16

**hey all! this fic is finally completed. i put chapters 15 and 16 together bc 16 is so short. enjoy and please review if possible :)**

**thanks!**

**Chapter 15**

Four days had passed since Gabrielle's hospital stay. Within this short period of time, Rex Van de Kamp's funeral came and went. Bree had put off her husband's funeral for as long as possible. She claimed that she needed time for family members to arrive, but she was actually dragging out her fear of attending the funeral for as long as possible. Bree did not want her neighbors and relatives to see her cry. She accepted the fact that her closest friends bore witness to such behavior, but simply would not allow for anyone else to see past her perfect exterior.

However, the funeral turned out to be a success for Bree. She believed she had no more tears left to cry, and therefore, allowed herself to observe solemnly as her first love was lowered six feet under. She comforted her daughter, and attempted to stand by her son…but Bree never showed her tears.

Within a day or two, Bree found that time no longer seemed to stand still. Her days remained drawn out, but were no longer endless. She would busy herself with various chores ranging from dusting to gardening. Rex's memory continued to linger in her every thought, but at this point, Bree wanted to begin getting her life back in order. She refused to become the woman who stayed in bed; allowing herself to emotionally rot away. She owed it to herself, her friends, her children, and even to her husband to somehow carry on.

Bree was vigorously wiping fingerprints off of a crystal vase when she heard her daughter's footsteps. Danielle too, was desperately attempting to regain her life. She had started making plans with friends, and had even tried going to a party…but with each new step out, she would find herself setback a step further.

"Where are you going?" Bree questioned.

"Just to take a walk." Danielle was being truthful. She did not derive pleasure from being with friends, and felt more relief from clearing her head.

"Oh, okay." Bree sadly smiled. She knew she was slowly losing grip of her daughter, but was unsure of how to patch up their relationship. "Danielle…" she began, causing the blonde to turn around. "How about tonight we rent a thoughtless movie and load ourselves up with food that lacks any form of nutritional value." As hard as she may have tried, Bree just did not sound like the 'pig out and watch chick flicks' type.

"Um…"

"Remember whenever you were sick as a little girl we would do that? I didn't make you eat anything gourmet for a change, and we would just waste our time…eating and laughing…" she paused. "being friends." Bree feared that Danielle would no longer have a place in her memory for such details of her childhood.

"Of course I remember. I think I was the only kid I knew who loved being sick." Danielle smiled softly. "I loved it so much because you would treat me like a normal kid…and you would act like other moms…"

Bree felt the far too familiar feeling of guilt rise up again. She could have gotten down on her hands and knees and apologized to her daughter, but what good would it do? What's done is done. Bree realized that she had to stop dwelling on the past, and needed to start reaching for the future. "Well, what do you say we do that tonight. Just you and I. Andrew has plans anyway." Bree didn't actually know whether or not her son had plans. She had just come to accept the fact that her relationship with Andrew was hopeless for the time being- that she _needed_ to leave him alone for a while. At least until he was ready to accept her and move on.

The young blonde nodded at her mother. "Sure. I'd like that." She sounded relatively dull, but Bree saw a certain spark in her eyes that she hadn't seen in months.

"I'll see you later, then." Bree responded, watching Danielle walk out of their home. She felt herself smile as she realized that she may have a chance of mending their relationship.

Bree was deep in thought and didn't realize how late it had gotten. Earlier in the week she had invited Susan, Gabrielle, and Lynette over for lunch. She spent the entire morning preparing delicacy after delicacy for her three closest friends. The redhead heard a knock at her door and instantly jolted up. She ushered her friends inside, leading them to the dining room table. Normally she would serve hors d'oeuvres and greet her friends with lines such as, "I hope you brought your appetite!", but not today.

As she sat at the head of her table, facing her friends, she found herself at a loss for words. Susan, Gabrielle, and Lynette all exchanged worried glances.

"Oh wow, I'm really sorry." Susan realized she was sitting in what would have been Rex's spot at the table, and quickly switched seats

"No, Susan you didn't have to get up!" Bree instantly snapped back to reality.

"I thought I upset you because I sat in Rex's seat…or what was his seat. I…" Susan cut herself short, realizing that she was making little to no sense.

"Forget it." Bree chimed in, gaining composure. "I want to thank you all for coming here today. I hope I didn't disturb any of your plans." she paused. "I…well I just…" Bree mocked herself through a small chuckle. "This isn't as easy as I thought it would be."

"Take your time." Lynette retorted.

"I wanted to thank you all so much for…well, for everything. This past week has been, to put it lightly, the absolute worst seven days of my life." she glanced down at the table and began fiddling with her jewelry. She was very uncomfortable opening up to just one person, let alone three. "There were points when…" she hesitated- wondering if she should even continue. "…when I didn't even want to live." she quickly started her next sentence. "but before I could get too far into these thoughts, one of you would show up at my doorstep." she smiled. "Even when I lost my temper, you stuck by me." Bree glanced over at Lynette and Gabrielle. "I'm so grateful…so very grateful…" she began repeating herself, once again looking down at the table.

Her neighbors sat in silence, listening to Bree intently as she spoke. Although she was very much the same person, there were certain characteristics which seemed somewhat different. For instance, the sound of her voice. It was usually exceedingly polite and had a hint of falsity, while today it was soft and genuine. Her hair as well appeared softer- the infamous flip not quite as rigid. Even her face seemed natural, with less foundation caked on. Bree Van de Kamp looked **real**, rather than a cookie-cutter image of what perfection is supposed to look like.

Bree had finished speaking, but had yet to look up at her friends. Though she was proud of her accomplishment, she was also slightly embarrassed. She felt a hand move on top of her own, and shifted her eyes to see Susan gently looking back at her. She slowly moved her hand away, bringing it down to her lap.

"This is what I needed to talk to you all about." Bree said, referring to the comfort which Susan attempted to provide her with. "I want…no _I need_ to start getting my life back in order. Now I know that things won't just go snap back instantly, but I want to move forward."

Susan nodded. "I understand that…"

"I mean, my home life is already getting back to itself." Bree interrupted. "Danielle speaks to me on occasion and Andrew basically ignores me." She added, unsuccessfully accomplishing her goal to sound humorous…

"Nothing's improved with the two of them?" Lynette asked.

"No, no. I exaggerate." Bree shook her head. "I'm trying to form a relationship with Danielle. She's not completely grown up just yet, and I know she still needs me in her life. Andrew, on the other hand, wants nothing to do with me. We barely speak. He just wants to run to his father and complain about how awful I am…but well, he can't."

"I'm so sorry…" the blonde responded.

"No, please. Don't apologize. We've gotten sidetracked." Bree glanced down at her watch. "The reason I asked you all over here this afternoon was because I don't want this anymore."

"This? As in…" Gabrielle responded, speaking out for the first time since the four women got together.

"As much as I appreciate all of the sympathy you've provided me with…I need you to start treating me normally again. Each one of you seem as if you're on thin ice whenever we hold even the most casual of conversations. Worried about what you say, what you do…I just want you to be yourselves again. Please."

The three women remained silent for a few moments, unsure of how to respond. Each wanted to comply to Bree's request, but didn't know how they possibly could. The woman had lost her husband, and to act as if nothing had happened would not be an easy task.

"I'll try." Susan broke the awkward silence. Eventually Lynette and Gabrielle agreed as well.

"Thank you." Bree gently smiled, but soon found herself stuck in another awkward silence. "Well, I hope you all brought your appetite!" the return of the corny pre-meal line brought a smile to the faces of those surrounding Bree. "Because I've prepared an exquisite lunch."

The four women ate and chatted with one another. It was quite obvious to Bree, however, that her friends were still being quite careful with their words. Lynette and Susan made sure not to speak of Tom and Mike. If one of the two men _did _arise in a conversation, they instantly changed the subject. Bree found it difficult to hold a discussion with these two. She didn't want her friends to hold back… but, although she wouldn't admit it, Bree most definitely did not want to discuss their love interests either.

Bree went to speak to Gabrielle, but noticed she had still not returned to the table. She had excused herself to use the bathroom, and had disappeared for quite some time.

"Excuse me." Bree proclaimed, leaving Lynette and Susan to talk amongst themselves. She headed out of the kitchen, finding Gabrielle almost instantly. She was sitting on the couch glancing through an old photo album in which Andrew and Danielle were infants. She didn't notice that Bree was watching her, and continued to flip through the pages. Bree smiled sadly, taking a seat next to her friend. "Your time will come again." She spoke softly.

The brunette nodded. "So will yours."

The two women simply looked back at one another. Both were forced to face a terrible loss on their own. Although Bree's loss had deeper roots, both women had a tough journey ahead. Neither had a male counterpart, nor a strong foundation to turn to. However, they still had more than many could dream of. They had each other.

**Chapter 16**

The rest of the afternoon progressed relatively quickly. Eventually Bree's three neighbors left her home, leaving her alone once again. After cleaning up from her busy day, Bree retreated to her bedroom to lie down. She had broken out of the phase in which she would sleep non-stop, but was still compelled to dream of her husband. To be safe, Bree decided to take a cat nap, setting her alarm for exactly thirty minutes.

Once she felt her eyes close, she instantly dozed off into a peaceful rest. Within a few moments, she found herself with Rex once again. Only this time they were not alone. They were in a chapel, each looking significantly younger and full of life. Bree subconsciously realized she was reliving her wedding day. Although she could not see herself, she looked across at her husband, Rex. He was smiling back at her, with an expression of pure bliss. She had forgotten how handsome he looked at their wedding. She longed to speak, but could not find the words.

Before Bree had the chance to completely assess her surroundings, Rex began to utter the words which she would never forget…

_"I Rex, take you Bree, to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish" _he paused…_ " 'till death do us part." _

And with those final words, the scene slowly began to diminish. The church, the priest, the guests, and eventually even Rex faded out of the dream. Bree knew that her husband was leaving her for good this time, but did not call out to stop him. She let him slowly disappear- allowing all of her surroundings to completely fade away until she found herself alone. It was then she began to whisper…

_"I Bree, take you Rex, to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish…**'till death do us part." **_…and with that Bree's alarm sounded…bringing her back to the harsh reality of life. A life which had never been easy, and would continue to challenge her each day. The road ahead would be difficult, but all roads eventually lead to the same place…and when she finally arrives at this destination, Rex will be there waiting for her.

**THE END**


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